“Kon me once, shame on you; kon me twice…”

So Roger Clemens returns to New York for what appears to be Act Four of “Rocket’s Last & Final Retirement Tour”. The signing was announced at Yankee Stadium yesterday afternoon when he addressed the crowd over the loudspeaker. The Yankee announcers nearly soiled themselves in ecstasy.

Clemens stated that he would retire after pitching for Team USA in the WBC in 2006. Of course that didn’t cause a number of teams (including Boston) from making obsequiously wooing overtures to retain his services for “the stretch run”. He re-signed with Houston last year ostensibly to be close to home with his family and follow the progress of his son who’s a minor leaguer in the Astros’ organization.

Roger Clemens is not worth a nanosecond’s consideration in New England. He’s a lot like the ex-wife who’s remarried four times thereafter who decides to return to her third sugar daddy husband. If you’re ex-husband #1, this is news?

The late Willie McDonough didn’t label him “The Texa$ Kon Man” for nothing. What is worth considering is how many New Englanders actually thought that he would return to Boston to end his career, and why many people around here took his decision personally. Did the fans around here seemingly forget how, in December, 1996 he pissed all over their shoes on the way out the door? He lost what little respect I had for him as a man, right then and there. No sane-minded indivdual begrudges anyone who leaves a job for a better opportunity for themselves and their families, that's "The American Way". But it would have been appropriate to acknowledge the support of the people who put all those millions into his checkbook. A simple “thank you” would’ve sufficed. Instead, he embarked on a scorched earth policy toward the Red Sox. Toronto traded him to New York two years later and The Pinstriped Pimps embraced him. Now the media toadies fawn and grovel at his feet. “Oh, please, Roger, please come back to Boston, Roger.” How about, “Fuck you, Roger.” Put that in your ten-gallon hat and smoke it.

In the “American League East Preview” posted in April, this space clearly indicated that there were only two possible destinations for Clemens should he seek to return: Houston or New York. When his best bud Pettitte returned to New York, it was just a matter of when Clemens would follow suit. After having been whipped in the Matsuzaka Sweepstakes, did anyone expect King George to blissfully abdicate the AL East throne? Besides, the manager and many of the core players/teammates from the Yankee Glory Days remain. Other than Tim Wakefield and Fenway Park, what relevant connections does Clemens have to Boston? Everyone else is gone, top to bottom.

What Red Sox fans need to re-think is the whole notion that somehow these athletes are connected to our lives. What’s the connection? By and large, these guys are mercenaries and the name on the front of the shirt doesn’t matter as much as who’s willing to put the weight in their rear-seat pocket. The economic disparity between players and 99% of the fans can best be measured in light years.

The message boards, bloggers and the media were in an uproar over this, as if bringing in a 45-year old pitcher will somehow tilt the competitive balance in the Yankees’ favor. Perhaps someone should tell the Red Sox owners to raise the white flag from Fenway’s center field flagpole. Why even bother playing out the string? That’s it; Clemens is back, so they already must be making plans for that tickertape parade through The Canyon of Heroes.

The Yankees, 1-9, possess the best hitting lineup in baseball. They suffered injuries to their starting pitchers and used their unlimited financial resources to fix the problem. Again, is this anything new? They went out and spent an obscene amount of money to fix a problem that may not be an issue when all their starters became healthy.

It may shock some of you to consider that Manny doesn’t play for the Red Sox because he loves Boston. It’s all about the $20M/year. There are but a precious few professional athletes who use their stature for the benefit of the community. It is said that when Clemens worked in Boston he was mindful of that obligation and frequently visited patients at Dana Farber. Many fans longed for a Clemens “triumphant return” to “come full circle” and all of that emotional garbage, it wasn’t going to happen. Besides, who would be more worthy of an unabashed demonstration of fan appreciation, Clemens or Jon Lester? If you want to put an emotional spin on things, it’s really no contest. The night Lester returns to the mound, the cheers from Fenway will be heard all the way to Aroostook County.

But what many Red Sox fans cannot accept is the fact that Clemens moved on with his life a long time ago, or that business decisions are motivated by anything other than the Almighty Buck. How many times do you have to be slapped in the face before you realize it was "over" years ago? The Red Sox and their fans moved on as well.

Incredibly, there are people who would be slighted or even offended should Clemens’ Hall-of-Fame plaque not feature the distinctive “B” on his cap. The only appropriate symbol on the cap of Clemens’ plaque should be “$” (or a flaming doodle). The Red Sox have not used his number since his acrimonious departure over a decade ago. After all the previous efforts of bum-kissing, perhaps the Red Sox owners should admit the obvious and move on. It's not as if they'd sell more tickets, hot dogs and beer by scheduling a touchy-feely "Clemens Tribute Night" (good thing they don't sell beer in cans at Fenway or he'd be getting the "Jeff Gordon Talladega Salute"). Sorry, but I'd be too ill to attend...He wants to be remembered as a Yankee, so let him have his wish. After all these years who cares, anyhow? So maybe there’s a player on the horizon who could do honor to the number 21, as the former wearer of the jersey no longer cares to acknowldege the "Hall of Fame" portion of his career.

As far as Clemens, why waste even a moment’s thought. He’s old news. Save your emotions for the people who really matter in your life.